


GOLDEN DEER PROPAGANDA

by Entrophy_Writes



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: GOLDEN DEER PROPAGANDA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 15:51:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20194795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Entrophy_Writes/pseuds/Entrophy_Writes
Summary: Not actually explicit, just wanted to grab your attention. I guess there is some spoilers. So if you don't really want that then shoo. Either way...GOLDEN DEER PROPAGANDA.GOLDEN DEER PROPAGANDA.GOLDEN DEER PROPAGANDA.GOLDEN DEER PROPAGANDA.GOLDEN DEER PROPAGANDA.GOLDEN DEER PROPAGANDA.GOLDEN DEER PROPAGANDA.





	GOLDEN DEER PROPAGANDA

**Author's Note:**

> Real Summary: Everyone except Golden Deer fucking dies.

Claude, Dimitri and Edelgard stand awkwardly in a battle field. After five years of debate on who gets bae rights on Byleth ( who had been sleeping face-first into some dirt ), they have finally come to a conclusion.

“ Bae rights is mine,” Says Claude. Smirking proudly at the acquisition of Byleth-senpai.

“ Who in the fresh hell said that Claude?” Stinky blonde boy says with a growl. Tightening his grip onto his lance.

“ He didn’t even choose the Golden Deer house,” says evil dragon lady. Her armor making a loud ‘clunk’ noise as she aims her giant axe towards him. “ He chose the Black Eagles, so bae rights over Byleth should belong to me.” 

“ Nuh uh,” Says Claude. The fucking wyvern he was riding screaming, “ The god of this world said bae rights belong to me.” 

“ There’s no such thing as a God Claude,” says Edelgard. “ The church of Sothis made that shit up in order to control us all.”

“ Said the griefer who kept blowing up Flayn’s minecraft house.” Said blonde polar bear man. “ Either way, Byleth is mine. I beat both of your asses and because I won, bae rights are mine.”

“ Well than… If its a fight you want.” He raises a hand with a snap he smiles, “ Have some fucking fun.”

And then the world literally turns upside down.

“Sorry guys, bae rights are mine!” Claude yells, laughing maniacally as his two adversaries struggle to stay put on the ground. Their weapons stabbed into the ground as their legs fumble in the air.

The world was driven to chaos.

The Golden Deer’s ( having prepared for this ) stayed on buildings where furniture was both flex-taped and gorilla-glued to the floors and the ceilings. Preparing for the day when Claude would pull out his writer card and fucking turn the world 180 degrees. They convened as usual. Lorenze not being an asshole in the time skip and Hilda being a bit more lazy than usual now her world has been literally turned upside down.

The Blue lions were currently stuck in a cave, the world turning around didn’t bother them as much. But the polar bear soup that they had been preparing had been fucking ruined. All of them groaning in response and Felix suffering the worst, having the boiling pot of soup spilled all over him. He was fucking dead-

The Black Eagles suffered the worst. They had been outside, patiently waiting for Edelgard to bridal-style carry Byleth back into the empire. In turn, they didn’t expect the world to turn around. And all of them flew upwards into the sun. But even the sun was upside down ( but that didn’t stop them from all burning alive ).

Everyone was fucking dead except for the Golden Deer-  
\--------------------------  
Byleth slams the essay down. Giving Claude one of the most disgusted looks he has ever seen. He takes off his invisible glasses and says, “ Claude. What the fuck-”

Claude crab-walks out of the classroom. He hands in a jazz-hand position over his head as he screeches, “ FEAR THE DEER.” Before hissing away.

“ What the fuck-”

**Author's Note:**

> Real, Real, Real Summary: Claude submits his essay on why Golden Deer is fucking better then Black Eagle and Blue Lions. He fucking fails, but he wins everyone's hearts.  
EVERYONE, JOIN GOLDEN DEER GANG.


End file.
